Re-Thinking Rejection

Rejection is the mortar to the building blocks of Game.

Rejection is sometimes the most carnal and punishing forms of experience that men will face. We’re built to avoid it as it’s an uncomfortable part of life, but it still finds us. Even looking past Game for a moment, and you’re going to get rejected for your application for a school, a job, or maybe your idea of where to eat lunch. It’s there around every corner, as long as you don’t try to completely insulate yourself from it.

The important thing to take away is insulation from rejection is detrimental to your ability to grow into understanding certain aspects of Game. Even further, insulation from rejection (avoidance) could severely damage your ability to grow in many areas of life. The danger of insulation from the very, very real possibility of rejection has the potential to spiral into habits that continue to limit your potential as a risk-taking man.

The fear of failure always manifests into other psychological buffers that wrap us in a safe cocoon from that pain. Addiction to pornography is a classic way to shield from that sting. I’m no moral authority here, so please don’t think I care that you watch porn, only consider if watching porn for you has manifested in a way to avoid rejection. After all, porn is always there; it’s convenient and it never says no. The temptation for porn to replace real, cold and raw rejection is a strong one.

Rejection sucks, and it’s that suck that makes it seem unnatural to actually consider chasing the feeling. However, we’re much more likely to learn from the experience of failure than any web seminar or self-help book. It’s the one’s that sting that make one really understand their potential.

Without failure, without rejection, there’s just not enough we can really know about our abilities or limits. Every time you get rejected is an opportunity to learn something from the interaction. What did you do wrong? What did you do right? Before you know it you’re starting to grow more confident in your actual experiences that includes rejection.

Above, I put a picture of a scene from the movie Interstellar because I believe it illustrates this point well. The crew of the Endurance land on a water world called Miller’s planet. No life exists. Only gigantic tidal waves roam the strange world. The planet is “sterile” without life because not enough could happen on Miller’s planet. Dr. Brand, describes the world:

Murphy’s Law – whatever can happen will happen. Accident is the first building block of evolution – but when you’re orbiting a black hole not enough can happen – it sucks in asteroids and comets, random events that would otherwise reach you.

In the same sense, not enough can happen by avoiding rejection. That doesn’t mean we have to all be PUA and actively seeking it out as sadists. It means it’s avoidance limits our ability to reach our potential. Murphy’s Law; allow rejection to happen, place yourself in its crosshairs, brush off the dirt, and go back for more.

How Feminism Cheats You

A successful, career-powered woman who is the main breadwinner in her home, explains why she is thinking about leaving her husband:

My husband has a life that many people who are “rule-followers,” like me, would envy. When I first met him, it was undeniably a passionate love affair. I’d never dated anyone or known anyone like him before. He took risks, lived all over the world, had many passions and has been a loyal friend. He’s seven years older than I am, and we met at work, where his power and seniority at the office was insanely attractive to me. The year we got married, he wanted to take a risk and go back to graduate school to find his dream job. I trusted his judgment, and between his savings, my new job, and some sacrifices, we comfortably lived while he went through two years of graduate school. My husband now has his dream job. I’m proud of everything he’s accomplished and what we were able to do together to make it happen.

Over the past four years, my career has skyrocketed in ways I never could have dreamed of. I’ve broken through the hypothetical glass ceiling in a male-dominated industry. I am a huge believer in women in the workplace and always will be. If they become the breadwinners in marriage, more power to them.

Now herein lies my problem — I became the breadwinner in an extreme way. I committed to supporting us for two years, but we’re going on four now, and it will likely be five. Our income divide is so extreme that I pay for 90 percent of our living expenses. What I’ve found is I can’t live this girl-power lifestyle that I believe in.

I’m very close to a breaking point, and I never stop thinking about leaving my husband. And no matter what other reasons I come up with, it always leads back to money, power and sexual attraction

When we talk about the rules of the sexual marketplace, we’re not talking about a place where the rules of engagement are blurry. They are right there in your face, and they are very constant. This woman, like so many others, disregarded the rules of biomechanics in exchange for the false-song of feminism, only to be completely distraught at the current state of her marriage.

I don’t blame the woman entirely in this letter. If her husband had been aware of his SMV and how his “dream job” was a lowering of his SMV, then their positions would have been reversed. At this point, the idea that feminism is a realistic way to center your marriage on is a sure sign of an impending divorce.

The more men realize that their SMV is determined on their superiority the more marriages will be saved, and the happier women will be.

Neg Hits

Neg hits are probably one of the most pragmatic use of game in today’s climate. It’s pragmatism is due in large part to the over-inflation of worth that women have for themselves, simply deflating them is necessary at this point. This inflation is mainly due to the structure of our priorities in today’s culture. Social media allows a ceaseless form of validation from her peers and other men; a simple Instagram post is enough to send her validation sensors spiked with serotonin. Giirrrlll power is approaching peak saturation, and women are told they literally run the world.

Women are simply in a better position to understand their own worth, and embrace their needs and wants in their mental point of origin — not someone else’s. Especially that of a man that is trying get into her pants; she is always examining his leverage over him, and whether he will bring value to her life. It’s almost a perfect circle, men not accustomed to game are too happy to enter her frame and furthering her sense of validation, while also not allowing him to gain an inch. The cycle continues until many woman have an extremely unrealistic view of themselves.

Neg hits are simply there to bring women back down to reality in her own perceptions, while also increasing the perception of the neg wielding man. Neg hits are not insults, as that is simply cruel. Neg hits are true, and said with either a smirk or enough plausible deniability that she has no idea where they came from — they are entitled to disqualify her of a man’s attention, and have her qualify herself to his perceptions.

When approaching with a neg hit, always remember the goal is to lower her bitch shield, while also increasing her interest. The flak that neg hits get is due to their name and men over using them or simply insulting women. That is an overcompensation. Neg hits are used to lower a person’s self-perception in the eyes of another person. It’s a frame flip, one that is effective for the man, as it allows the frame control to be transferred from her to him. She is expecting most men to feed her ego, but the one guy that does the opposite, and expects her to feed his, is a man that is a prize to be had.

The Great Uncucking

There seems to be a branding crisis currently in the Red Pill. Why is it even called the Red Pill in the first place? Obviously “taking the red pill” is from the movie The Matrix, which is  popular in the idea of realizing an otherwise hidden, but important truth, hiding in plain sight. It’s a great flick. It’s popular due to the ease in which the term “taking the red pill” can fit into many different contexts, like the realization that women are hypergamous and are not built to love idealistically as men do, but rather opportunistically.

Recently, mainly due to the U.S. elections the use of the red pill has become increasingly popular in the alt-right spheres. Taking this red pill in relation to the alt-right is centered around race-realism, and the disestablishment of multiculturalism and the survival of one’s own group.

There are attempts being made to corner this brand of the use of the red pill to be in sole-relation to the manosphere. I honestly think that is an unattainable goal due to the free-flowing nature of ideas on the internet. The Reddit sub The Red Pill is quite popular and can arguably be the largest gathering of individuals actively using the term the red pill, but it wasn’t the first nor will it be the last. Besides the movie, the term the red pill can be traced back as far as a blogger named Mencius Moldbug who has run a blog called Unqualified Reservations since 2007.  Mencius Moldbug has nothing to do with the red pill in relation to the manosphere, but uses the term to describe his own thoughts on the usefulness of classical liberal democracy — his views are unpopular to his view of the majority of blue pill believers in democracy.

The point here is that using the term “taking the red pill” has gotten away from the manosphere and is now largely a counter-culture movement of the common beliefs of most of what we hold dear. Regardless of your personal opinion of the alt-right or the manosphere, things are changing as commonly held beliefs on women and politics seem to not be working. PA states it very well:

Rebirth. Or, nationalism’s renaissance men. Be your best self. The Red Pill blogs — manosphere, pick-up, White nationalism, neoreaction — converged on a wholesale rejection of neoliberal virtues: tolerance, supplication, political correctness (lies), nihilism, ignorance. Do you even lift?

I’ll be sticking to talking about The Red Pill as it has to do with men and their disillusions with women. I think that is one of the best ways to help men as it becomes even more apparent these common problems outlined in this blog will not go away, but men can be prepared to face them, and hopefully help each other see these red pill truths. Whether that is a stepping stone to other ideas is not my prerogative. Mark my words: Belonging to any faction of the red pill will get you labeled a racist, misogynist, or whatever term is popular today to attack the messenger, and not the message. These are unpopular ideas, and as “taking the red pill” grows in various forms, it will put a bigger target on any part of it.

I call it the great uncucking due to it’s systematic threat it poses to the power structures today. Whether that is your loss of respect in your own family, or the dependency that men are no better than mules, showing the underbelly of this beast is going to mean trouble.

Regardless of this threat, the benefits to each individual man are too great; which also coalesces to the larger benefits of society at large. Men are better off when they understand their value that is not dictated by the feminine imperative.

Whether this great uncucking coalesces to something larger, I sure hope it does — it will be interesting to see.

Drama

A woman’s propensity to create drama serves the purpose of ensuring emotional investment and security. Understanding the reasons why she needs this can soothe the minds of men who are sometimes exasperated by women’s need to “ruin a good thing.”

When we’re talking about drama, it is anything that invokes a feeling of being mistreated, or another word is indignation, but since so many elements of Game are correlated to her need to feel indignation, I’m going to continue to use “drama” as a catch-all. It’s also a word that most men have an experience with, whether good or bad. When we’re talking about Drama Queens, or the political drama at work, men often correlate negative emotions to the word as something that is often an annoyance and getting in the way of their goals. It’s expressed as annoying because men do not need to create drama to feel loved — I don’t think I’ll spin any heads with that one. However, it’s necessary to say due to the increasing feminization of male spaces, “drama” is already unavoidable, whether at work, in traditional male spaces, or of course with your plates, it’s there and yes it’s in your way. Now, accepting her visceral need for drama and what it tells her is the first step; the next is using it to your advantage.

Assurance of security is one side of the coin on woman’s dualistic sexual strategy. It’s not the whole picture, but it is the one side of her strategy that many unplugged men regularly adhere to, incorrectly, as the only side of her sexual strategy. These men employ their set of blue pill Game to meet her security needs because it’s still viewed as the right way to ensure intimacy. In their defense, her security needs are overtly communicated to him when she demands his commitment, along with a culture that pushes him to “man-up” and meet her provisioning needs. Men enter relationships with this thought process in mind, that her security needs come first, and maintain the relationship using the same reasoning.

In my post called Emotional Control, I outlined the necessity to remember that women do not communicate overtly, but rather covertly.

Beta males…still follow the social framework that women say what they mean.

Understanding this sets up the reason why her security needs are in direct conflict for her need to also feel anxious in the relationship; as such, believing her words at face value is a mistake, as I will explain.

While women communicate their need for security and peace, this doesn’t correlate with her behavior of creating drama. Watch the habits of your female co-workers, and in no time they will begin to gossip and induce an air of being mistreated by each other. Women will present themselves as the gatekeepers of peace and unity, but this is shown as false as they begin to tear into one another in the forms of passive aggression, gossip, and deception. I’d take a couple shots before, but watch 5 minutes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and there is a parade of women (and effeminate men) sobbing about how they were mistreated by someone else. If drama is not actively present in her life she can simply turn on the tube and binge on countless hours of reality TV. If she doesn’t have a TV she will gossip about her girlfriends to her “bestie.” If she isn’t around her confidant she will induce drama in her relationship with you.

Drama Satellite

This visceral need of creating drama is parallel to her need to use emotion to understand her place in the world. This is completely relative to her emotional perspective, but it does give her some very important information that allows her to make deductions about YOU particularly, and where she stands with you. There are studies that confirm women actually feel happier in a relationship knowing that her man is upset. This provides her with the information that she needs. If the man is emotionally upset this tells her he is also emotionally invested in the relationship. This confirms for her her need for security in the relationship, knowing that you will fight for it.

However, again, the security aspect is not the only part of her strategy at play here. This also goes back to knowing she doesn’t say what she means. Without understanding this men find themselves in a crossroads. Subsequently, when she begins to induce drama our reflexive reaction is to immediately relieve any thoughts of anxiety from her about the relationship. Under a blue pill social framework this would make sense as she says what she means, right? The other problem men face is this:

We don’t have time to deal with this fucking drama.

I don’t know how anyone can walk away sane knowing the fact that women are happier when men are upset in a relationship. While women are happier, men obviously are not happier with this aspect. It takes away our energy, and leaves us having to put out small fires when we’re supposed to be conquering the planet.

This is where the various elements of Game come to play. The first step is realizing that just because she has anxiety about the relationship, does not mean she should be relieved of it. In fact, most elements of Game already focus on how to create or use that anxiety to ensure her continued interest. Dread Game is based on this need to induce anxiety about her place in the relationship. Simply dressing better and going to the gym will immediately set off these dreadful queues for her. Anxiety is paired with her need to ensure she has held down a man that is better on the SMV scale than she is. It’s almost paradoxical, but if looked at closely, it makes sense for her to find the best man she can find, while also limiting his self-development so he doesn’t completely eclipse her own SMV, lose interest, and leave. Then her investment would be lost. It’s a fine line but she needs both security and anxiety. Too much security and she knows she hasn’t found a man that is better than she is. This is why relieving her of this anxiety is a bad idea, and in fact you should covertly encourage it.

The best way to deal with her drama is to ensure the drama is centered around you. As discussed earlier, she will find some reason to be feel mistreated, and that will leak out and ruin your time, relationships, and the people around you. If the drama is centered around you and you now know that she needs to feel this way, then you can use it as leverage. Simply introduce a couple levels of dread into your relationship, and she will anxiously  appreciate it. One that I believe is a good habit for maintaining boundaries (that she will try and break) is simply telling her No. The word no helps ensure that you’re still setting the Frame in the relationship and allows her to continue to operate in that Frame. While her reaction to No may not be one of thankfulness, the point is the need for drama does not distract you from your goals.

The Male Experience

The reason that women are both frightened and fascinated by the growth of the Red Pill is it’s threat to reveal the largely female dominant sexual strategy. The Red Pill is an evolutionary reaction on a meta-scale against a female dominant sexual strategy, fueled by feminist thought from the past 50 years.

A dominant sexual strategy is one that is agreed upon, subconsciously, by the general populace, on how the human species should reproduce.

It’s proof of the Red Pill’s unifying appeal, when men of different backgrounds, locations, status, and experiences, can come together on the internet to discuss their findings as to how they have attracted a particular woman. As these individual stories begin to accumulate, patterns emerge which form behavioral strategies. These commonalities and collective experiences, allow a consensus to be agreed upon in regards to the current state of intersexual dynamics. From this agreement, the Red Pill is born.

As of 2016, in Western society the female sexual strategy is dominant, and can be described in both short-term sexual strategy, and long-term sexual strategy, i.e: Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks. One thing to keep in mind, and I’ll quote Rollo Tomassi here:

The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies:
For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own.

Alpha Fucks

Women inherently have pluralistic strategy in regards to mating. This strategy can be simplified to short-term, and long-term capacities. The short-term strategy is often expressed as Alpha Fucks, which pushes her to seek the highest quality male to gain the best genes for her children. Displays of Alpha characteristics in a man will set off arousal cues and is indicative of traits of social dominance, aggression, power, physicality, and other traits that are sexually arousing to women. It should be noted, that the term Alpha is a contentious one in The Red Pill, as there is no definitive definition as to what is an Alpha. Alpha is an abstract term, that changes according to the perceptions of each individual man.

Beta Bucks

The long-term strategy that women employ is called Beta Bucks. This strategy encourages her to seek out a partner that has an abundance of resources that she can use to provide for herself and her children. Personality traits of a Beta are indicative of validation seeking, one that supports her and her children both financially and emotionally. Beta partners have traits that are attractive to her, and should not be confused by sexually arousing, which explains Alpha traits.

The Male Experience

Each individual man will invariably have to navigate the Sexual Market Place. Some will find themselves gifted with a natural ability to successfully navigate this brutally competitive arena. Most will fall, bleed, doubt, suffer, and other-wise have to wrestle with exactly how they should successfully employ Game to attain their needs. At this present moment, the odds are stacked against most men who are raised inoculated to the Feminine Imperative. This same imperative that aggressively demands that men should abandon their strategy, to fulfill a woman’s sexual strategy, and be thankful while they’re at it. Anything less is outright misogyny. Anything acknowledging that the odds are not in a man’s favor, is a threat that needs to be squashed.

Before acknowledgment of a woman’s dualistic strategy is reached, men will have to come to terms either through pain or severe loss, as their own strategy that was approved by the Feminine Imperative crumbles in their hands. Why I’m so interested in writing this blog, is so men can have a second chance at seeing how their Blue Pill expectations on women really set them up for painful failure. Their story is like so many others: raised to serve the women around them by sacrificing their hopes and dreams in the hope that she will appreciate them. Only to be met by nothing more then her outright disdain.

At specific points in a woman’s lifetime, she is expecting different men that entail either Alpha or Beta traits. At 21, a woman’s sexual strategy is different then when she is at 31. At these different stages of a woman’s life, she will require a man that holds certain key traits to meet her sexual strategy of Alpha Fucks or Beta Bucks. What has been so damaging to relational equilibrium between the sexes is a now cultural desire to ensure that women’s sexual strategy is dominant. This assurance that women should have the dominant strategy is called Optimized Hypergamy, which materializes from individual women optimizing their hypergamy, which then extrapolates across communities to enforce laws and social norms to ensure that her sexual strategy is dominant. This can play out familiarly in a man’s life when at 18 you were so inclined to move to another state to goto the same college as your girlfriend. Only to have her dump you as she realizes she is entering a phase in her life where can use her most physically desirable years to seek an Alpha Fucks strategy. Years later at 30, this same women will notice as she ages that that Alpha Fucks strategy was a liability for her, as she seeks a man that will provide commitment to her. If her boyfriend balks at the idea of marriage he will be met with allegations of “commitment-phobic” and to “man-up” and do the right thing. Same woman, different key traits of men at different points in life, one dominant sexual strategy.

In the past, men either through social norms, religion, or laws limited a woman’s hypergamous tendencies. With the advent of the sexual revolution, and now entering 3rd wave feminism, most if not all these natural bulwarks against women optimizing hypergamy (and thus bringing more relational equilibrium) have all but been discarded.

The fallout is a sense of confusion and a desire for a correction. This is the Male Experience, as men are forced to reconcile that the same strategy of being Mr. Perfect has utterly failed them. While also acknowledging marriage in the 21st century is a risky proposition due to a cultural of unfettered hypergamy. This Experience accumulates in the Red Pill, which seeks to allow men to gain awareness of what women say they want, and what they actually want are two different things. It seeks to take off the veil of the “mysterious” nature of women, and acknowledge painful truths of how women love. Acknowledgment of these core truths will ultimately help men navigate the arena, and to reach a level of sanity as they struggle to wrestle with these uncomfortable truths.

Christian Idols

The goal of this blog is not to re-frame Red Pill truths into a different worldview, whether that is political or religious. The Red Pill is amoral, in that it simply unveils the “mysterious” nature of women’s sexual strategy. It’s neither claiming that these strategies are good nor bad, it’s simply acknowledging how women intrinsically are, and how with this new knowledge men can have realistic expectations on women. Re-framing Red Pill truths into a ideology is a disservice to all men that can benefit from it. For example, if I said you can’t be Red Pill without being a staunch fiscal conservative, or you can’t be a Red Pill without agreeing that we as a country should vote a certain way, that is simply not true. Red Pill truths are self-evident, the same way basic mathematical laws work, if you add up all of the angles in a triangle the sum must equal 180°, or 2+2=4. Whether you’re in another country, or back in time, a woman’s sexual strategy is constant.

With that said, the way one uses and applies Red Pill truths ultimately determines ethical implications. Which brings me to gaze at Red Pillers that identify as Christian. I believe that Christian men can gain a lot from taking the Red Pill, in that it uncovers some deeply held idols (ideals) that many Christian men still hold on to, to their own detriment. I want to speak to Christian men here that are still on the fence on whether women, even Christian women, are really naturally the way we describe them.

The manosphere has a large swath of men that identify as being Christian. I believe the manosphere’s popularity with Christian men is that both Christianity and the mainstream manosphere advice seeks, in a semi-parallel way, self improvement. For a Christian man, to be more Christ-like is the overarching goal, and for the manosphere it strives for men to “man-up.” However, the problem with the mainstream manosphere (I’m thinking of the Art of Manliness, and other like-minded feel good man-blogs) is that it still caters to the Feminine Imperative. Even the AoM acknowledges that a very substantial base of it’s readers are females. It’s geared toward men, but it has the stamp of approval from women. It simply creates a culture where men are even more encouraged to disregard their sexual strategy in favor of women’s by “manning-up.” What Christian men need to realize is that “manning-up” as dictated by these mainstream blogs that has the FI seal of approval is not inherently “Christian.” It’s simply a repackaging of the last 50 years of feminism demanding the men “man-up” to meet her sexual strategy. In other words: Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

AWALT

What baffles me now is how ready Christian men are so ready to settle down due to the pressure for men to “man-up.” Every where in a church you see young men, pining for marriage in the hopes that it will somehow complete them. This is the idol that will ultimately set them up for either divorce or soul-crushing expectations. I’m not going to get into a theological discussion about Christian marriage, but I need you to realize that even Christian women are influenced by Game and it’s requirements. Even in tight Christian circles women are still prone to the basic Red Pill laws of hypergamy and the Sexual Market Place. On two different occasions I witnessed two different friends of mine find out that their pure Christian wife, the worship singer, the SAHM of 3 kids, was having an affair with the hot guitarist on the worship team. One of those husbands was deployed on an aircraft carrier at the time. The guy she cheated on him with? That was his best-friend, who also got her pregnant. The husband got a e-mail from his wife four thousand miles away in the middle of the ocean that she was divorcing him, and going to start a new family in another state with his best-friend.

Yes, even Christian women are prone to going feral — it does not matter. It’s indicative that Christian marriages have about the same success rate as secular marriages. So what can you do? Christian men need to take the Red Pill and apply these truths to their marriage. You need to understand that just because she’s a Christian woman does not mean she is not prone to hypergamy. This does not mean you can drift asleep in a cocoon of Blue Pill bliss once you’re married. The Red Pill is an idolatry destroyer of the worst idols that Christian men hold on to. This idol is that marriage will ultimately be your gateway to happiness or peace. If Christian men want to take their marriages seriously, and have a chance of having a successful marriage, then they need to disabuse themselves from the idealisms of “Christian” marriage. This Christian marriage which has been now defined that you adhere to her sexual strategy is not inherently Christian. It is surely not as defined in Ephesians 5:23, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”