The Male Experience

The reason that women are both frightened and fascinated by the growth of the Red Pill is it’s threat to reveal the largely female dominant sexual strategy. The Red Pill is an evolutionary reaction on a meta-scale against a female dominant sexual strategy, fueled by feminist thought from the past 50 years.

A dominant sexual strategy is one that is agreed upon, subconsciously, by the general populace, on how the human species should reproduce.

It’s proof of the Red Pill’s unifying appeal, when men of different backgrounds, locations, status, and experiences, can come together on the internet to discuss their findings as to how they have attracted a particular woman. As these individual stories begin to accumulate, patterns emerge which form behavioral strategies. These commonalities and collective experiences, allow a consensus to be agreed upon in regards to the current state of intersexual dynamics. From this agreement, the Red Pill is born.

As of 2016, in Western society the female sexual strategy is dominant, and can be described in both short-term sexual strategy, and long-term sexual strategy, i.e: Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks. One thing to keep in mind, and I’ll quote Rollo Tomassi here:

The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies:
For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own.

Alpha Fucks

Women inherently have pluralistic strategy in regards to mating. This strategy can be simplified to short-term, and long-term capacities. The short-term strategy is often expressed as Alpha Fucks, which pushes her to seek the highest quality male to gain the best genes for her children. Displays of Alpha characteristics in a man will set off arousal cues and is indicative of traits of social dominance, aggression, power, physicality, and other traits that are sexually arousing to women. It should be noted, that the term Alpha is a contentious one in The Red Pill, as there is no definitive definition as to what is an Alpha. Alpha is an abstract term, that changes according to the perceptions of each individual man.

Beta Bucks

The long-term strategy that women employ is called Beta Bucks. This strategy encourages her to seek out a partner that has an abundance of resources that she can use to provide for herself and her children. Personality traits of a Beta are indicative of validation seeking, one that supports her and her children both financially and emotionally. Beta partners have traits that are attractive to her, and should not be confused by sexually arousing, which explains Alpha traits.

The Male Experience

Each individual man will invariably have to navigate the Sexual Market Place. Some will find themselves gifted with a natural ability to successfully navigate this brutally competitive arena. Most will fall, bleed, doubt, suffer, and other-wise have to wrestle with exactly how they should successfully employ Game to attain their needs. At this present moment, the odds are stacked against most men who are raised inoculated to the Feminine Imperative. This same imperative that aggressively demands that men should abandon their strategy, to fulfill a woman’s sexual strategy, and be thankful while they’re at it. Anything less is outright misogyny. Anything acknowledging that the odds are not in a man’s favor, is a threat that needs to be squashed.

Before acknowledgment of a woman’s dualistic strategy is reached, men will have to come to terms either through pain or severe loss, as their own strategy that was approved by the Feminine Imperative crumbles in their hands. Why I’m so interested in writing this blog, is so men can have a second chance at seeing how their Blue Pill expectations on women really set them up for painful failure. Their story is like so many others: raised to serve the women around them by sacrificing their hopes and dreams in the hope that she will appreciate them. Only to be met by nothing more then her outright disdain.

At specific points in a woman’s lifetime, she is expecting different men that entail either Alpha or Beta traits. At 21, a woman’s sexual strategy is different then when she is at 31. At these different stages of a woman’s life, she will require a man that holds certain key traits to meet her sexual strategy of Alpha Fucks or Beta Bucks. What has been so damaging to relational equilibrium between the sexes is a now cultural desire to ensure that women’s sexual strategy is dominant. This assurance that women should have the dominant strategy is called Optimized Hypergamy, which materializes from individual women optimizing their hypergamy, which then extrapolates across communities to enforce laws and social norms to ensure that her sexual strategy is dominant. This can play out familiarly in a man’s life when at 18 you were so inclined to move to another state to goto the same college as your girlfriend. Only to have her dump you as she realizes she is entering a phase in her life where can use her most physically desirable years to seek an Alpha Fucks strategy. Years later at 30, this same women will notice as she ages that that Alpha Fucks strategy was a liability for her, as she seeks a man that will provide commitment to her. If her boyfriend balks at the idea of marriage he will be met with allegations of “commitment-phobic” and to “man-up” and do the right thing. Same woman, different key traits of men at different points in life, one dominant sexual strategy.

In the past, men either through social norms, religion, or laws limited a woman’s hypergamous tendencies. With the advent of the sexual revolution, and now entering 3rd wave feminism, most if not all these natural bulwarks against women optimizing hypergamy (and thus bringing more relational equilibrium) have all but been discarded.

The fallout is a sense of confusion and a desire for a correction. This is the Male Experience, as men are forced to reconcile that the same strategy of being Mr. Perfect has utterly failed them. While also acknowledging marriage in the 21st century is a risky proposition due to a cultural of unfettered hypergamy. This Experience accumulates in the Red Pill, which seeks to allow men to gain awareness of what women say they want, and what they actually want are two different things. It seeks to take off the veil of the “mysterious” nature of women, and acknowledge painful truths of how women love. Acknowledgment of these core truths will ultimately help men navigate the arena, and to reach a level of sanity as they struggle to wrestle with these uncomfortable truths.

Christian Idols

The goal of this blog is not to re-frame Red Pill truths into a different worldview, whether that is political or religious. The Red Pill is amoral, in that it simply unveils the “mysterious” nature of women’s sexual strategy. It’s neither claiming that these strategies are good nor bad, it’s simply acknowledging how women intrinsically are, and how with this new knowledge men can have realistic expectations on women. Re-framing Red Pill truths into a ideology is a disservice to all men that can benefit from it. For example, if I said you can’t be Red Pill without being a staunch fiscal conservative, or you can’t be a Red Pill without agreeing that we as a country should vote a certain way, that is simply not true. Red Pill truths are self-evident, the same way basic mathematical laws work, if you add up all of the angles in a triangle the sum must equal 180°, or 2+2=4. Whether you’re in another country, or back in time, a woman’s sexual strategy is constant.

With that said, the way one uses and applies Red Pill truths ultimately determines ethical implications. Which brings me to gaze at Red Pillers that identify as Christian. I believe that Christian men can gain a lot from taking the Red Pill, in that it uncovers some deeply held idols (ideals) that many Christian men still hold on to, to their own detriment. I want to speak to Christian men here that are still on the fence on whether women, even Christian women, are really naturally the way we describe them.

The manosphere has a large swath of men that identify as being Christian. I believe the manosphere’s popularity with Christian men is that both Christianity and the mainstream manosphere advice seeks, in a semi-parallel way, self improvement. For a Christian man, to be more Christ-like is the overarching goal, and for the manosphere it strives for men to “man-up.” However, the problem with the mainstream manosphere (I’m thinking of the Art of Manliness, and other like-minded feel good man-blogs) is that it still caters to the Feminine Imperative. Even the AoM acknowledges that a very substantial base of it’s readers are females. It’s geared toward men, but it has the stamp of approval from women. It simply creates a culture where men are even more encouraged to disregard their sexual strategy in favor of women’s by “manning-up.” What Christian men need to realize is that “manning-up” as dictated by these mainstream blogs that has the FI seal of approval is not inherently “Christian.” It’s simply a repackaging of the last 50 years of feminism demanding the men “man-up” to meet her sexual strategy. In other words: Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

AWALT

What baffles me now is how ready Christian men are so ready to settle down due to the pressure for men to “man-up.” Every where in a church you see young men, pining for marriage in the hopes that it will somehow complete them. This is the idol that will ultimately set them up for either divorce or soul-crushing expectations. I’m not going to get into a theological discussion about Christian marriage, but I need you to realize that even Christian women are influenced by Game and it’s requirements. Even in tight Christian circles women are still prone to the basic Red Pill laws of hypergamy and the Sexual Market Place. On two different occasions I witnessed two different friends of mine find out that their pure Christian wife, the worship singer, the SAHM of 3 kids, was having an affair with the hot guitarist on the worship team. One of those husbands was deployed on an aircraft carrier at the time. The guy she cheated on him with? That was his best-friend, who also got her pregnant. The husband got a e-mail from his wife four thousand miles away in the middle of the ocean that she was divorcing him, and going to start a new family in another state with his best-friend.

Yes, even Christian women are prone to going feral — it does not matter. It’s indicative that Christian marriages have about the same success rate as secular marriages. So what can you do? Christian men need to take the Red Pill and apply these truths to their marriage. You need to understand that just because she’s a Christian woman does not mean she is not prone to hypergamy. This does not mean you can drift asleep in a cocoon of Blue Pill bliss once you’re married. The Red Pill is an idolatry destroyer of the worst idols that Christian men hold on to. This idol is that marriage will ultimately be your gateway to happiness or peace. If Christian men want to take their marriages seriously, and have a chance of having a successful marriage, then they need to disabuse themselves from the idealisms of “Christian” marriage. This Christian marriage which has been now defined that you adhere to her sexual strategy is not inherently Christian. It is surely not as defined in Ephesians 5:23, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”

Boys Don’t Cry

A common meme perpetuated from an equalist definition of gender, is that men should embrace their emotions to better relate to women. The idea is that if gender is a social construct only, then it’s otherwise unhealthy for boys and eventually men to not freely express their emotions. Now you see young men constantly trying to use their emotions to attract a woman. The idea is that “like attracts like,” and the hope that she will ultimately appreciate his efforts that are so different then her douchebag boyfriend.

Showing your “emotional” side is a one way ticket to either her repulsion or a LJBF rejection. The reason that being more emotional is a waste of time for men, is that relating with women on an emotional level instinctively makes her feel like you’re one of her girlfriends. Gender is not a social construct, otherwise she would be able to turn that perception of you off, and you’ll sail into a Blue Pill relationship bliss. Her perception with a man that uses emotion to relate to her is that of another female. Often a woman’s perception of you as a primary candidate for intimacy relies on how she feels. If she “feels” that you’re a good friend that can talk about how Chad won’t call her back, that’s exactly the relationship you will have with her. You’re a man that still does not get it, a man that acts more as a woman, which will firmly place you in a friend category.

Our differences create attraction, not our similarities. Having a stoic, stronger then oak, emotionally unavailable nature makes you more attractive than trying to display your emotional intelligence as a sexual strategy.

Controlled Emotion

I’m not advocating that men need to be like Spock or Buddha. Men do have emotions as that makes us human. What I’m against, is men trying to out-emote one another as a sexual strategy, in the hope that a woman will appreciate the effort. She won’t.

Obviously, men have emotions, but it’s important to remember how to express them without coming off as Beta. Controlled expression of emotions is crucial, as it serves to make an endearing image of men. Don’t buy into the “he’s not sharing his feelings” gripe; this same gripe is an advocacy to try and get you to abandon your frame, and enter into hers. This is a disaster waiting to happen. You need to be the wall that separates her willingness to lose control to her emotions, and your incessant drive to not give into them. What’s endearing to women, is a man that is emotionally unavailable who occasionally shows a semblance of emotion. It’s the difference between a man giggling and a man that cheekily smirks. Think of Don Draper. Having control of your emotional expressions makes each small act, an event unto itself.

Frost’s comment on Roissy’s article demonstrates the proportional aspect behind displays of emotions:

The power of emotional outbursts is inversely proportional to how often you have them.

A man who has complete control of his emotions 99.9% of the time can strike the fear of god into women and men when he loses it.

Also, the scariest motherfucker of all is the man who can execute a controlled losing it, so it’s not really like he’s losing control of himself, just tapping into the strength and impulsiveness that an emotional reaction offers. Like calling on the power of the dark side of the force.

Anger is a good example. Out of all the “toxic” emotions men are taught not express, I’m all for occasional flashes of anger. This demonstrates to her that you’re to be respected, and you can at any time go from calm-like state, to a force to be reckoned with. These flashes of anger, or as Rollo called them, Flashes of Alpha, make her question her hypergamic valuation of you. What’s better then completely losing it every time you’re angry, is having a slight grasp on the leash of your carnal fury. This leaves more to the imagination, as it’s scary to see a otherwise calm person become angry, but also note that he has control of it. The shot of a single gun in a movie is more profound then a whole movie filled with persistent explosions — you get used to it.

Recently I demonstrated this at work, in a office full of females. Out of 15 people in my office space, 12 are women. There is a lesbian woman at my office, who normally I get along quite well with. However, she recently lost one of her subordinates, and I got the impression she can sometimes be a bully to those working under her. Since this other woman was gone, she proceeded to channel that bullying my way thinking I would not stand up for myself as her other subordinates didn’t. She proceeded to crack jokes in front of other co-workers about my job details and be otherwise disrespectful. I had enough, and in front of everyone, I lost my cool. I didn’t calculate it, I just was sick of the disrespect, and it came to froth, I aggressively told her to never talk about my duties in such a demeaning way again. I demanded that she understands me 100%. She was shocked, but agreed, and she slinked back in her office.

My anger was probably a 7 out of 10, with 1 being a child-like lamb, and 10 being throwing a chair out the window. I was assertive, menacing, and probably looked like I was an inch from completely losing it. I definitely could have been written up for confronting her in front of other employees. On paper, I would have been ok with that, as in a politically correct world, no I shouldn’t have said that to her. Unofficially, I didn’t give a fuck what she did or said, as long as she respected me. She even said that she didn’t respect the way I confronted her, and yet I’ve never had an issue from her since. Always look at their actions, not their words. In fact, since the office is so prone to bitch fits from these other women, NONE have given me an issue since.

I’m normally described as cool, calm, and collected. So having such display of controlled anger allowed a semblance of polarity with how I will confront disrespect. I’ve only had to do this once, and it has created a much more healthier work environment for myself. Since it was controlled, it leaves more to imagination.

Leave more to the imagination in regards to your own emotions. Instead of giggling like a child, smirk. Stop blowing up at every little thing, and assertively demand change. But whatever you do, do not roll over by trying to relate to women emotionally. This is a clear abdication of your frame, and one that she will never appreciate you for.

Designed Pain

There are 5 stages of grief associated with unplugging from a Blue Pill perspective. These stages of grief are the common reaction to having to confront an otherwise hidden and painful truth. When a man unplugs from the Feminine Imperative, and is cast into a new social dynamic, he may react the same way one reacts to the death of a close family member:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

It’s been said often in Red Pill circles, that it’s generally unwise to mention the Red Pill overtly to an otherwise still plugged in man. The reactions to these “misogynistic” ideas will be met at the least with mild incredulity or at worst outright contempt. More then one friendship has been destroyed by well-meaning Red Pill men, as they try to help their Blue Pill buddies who are trapped in a lifetime of pleasing the Feminine Imperative.

Of course we want to help these men that are close to us, as we remember our own plight and how now things are much more realistic by understanding women’s innate need to optimize their hypergamy. We remember our own painful pasts of fruitlessly following the advice of countless well-meaning women to be ourselves or just be nice and the laws of the universe will give us more pussy.

I believe it’s a disservice to yourself and your Blue Pill friend to mention the Red Pill before they’re unwilling to take it. One, you risk ostracizing yourself from a social circle that is so steeped in a Blue Pill perspective that they will never be able to understand that you hold their best interests at heart. No matter how logical you sound, you’re asking them to abandon their most cherished fantasies. From their perspective you’re asking them to hand over all their hopes and dreams. We’re talking about their sexual strategy here, and that is one strategy that men will defend with their very lives. Every man has Game, and Blue Pill men are no different.

Purpose of Pain

Going back the 5 stages of grief; I believe it’s necessary that men have to face a serious loss of an ideal before they’ll begin to question any tightly held beliefs about women’s sexual strategy. When men are faced with losing everything while they were simultaneously told that being Mr. Perfect will give them everything, they begin to question those assumptions. The fallout from a failed relationship, one in which was founded on Blue Pill ideals, will force a man to ask the right questions as to why it failed. When a child puts their hand on a hot stove without realizing they will get burned, pain immediately forces them to remove their hand. This painful shock will inoculate them from ever touching a hot stove again. There is a evolutionary purpose behind depression that forces us to examine whether our current goals are improving our ability of survival. Dr. Jonathan Rottenberg is the author of The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic, in which he argues that depression or low mood serves a purpose in examining our current setting and whether changes to this environment should be made. Dr. Rottenberg did a interview with Brett McKay of the Art of Manliness, where he expounds on the purpose of depression:

Low mood makes us stop. It makes us analyze the environment really carefully. Parts of it so you don’t repeat the same mistakes that got us into this situation in the first place.

When a frustrated man that has spent most of his life following the rules given to him since birth, rules which will ultimately fail him when it comes to a relationship with a woman, he understandably begins the stages of grief. At this time, pain serves as a necessary stepping stone to swallowing the Red Pill, as he is confronted with the reality that his Blue Pill sexual strategy ultimately failed him. It’s even more frustrating when you consider that this same strategy had the seal of approval from all women up to that point as the correct one. Nice guy…check, dependable…check, understanding…check, romantic…check, and then when this perspective is finally tested with his dream girl he is eventually rejected or dumped.

At this point, when he is in this depressive state he may be trying to understand what exactly went wrong with his past relationship. It serves as a survival mechanism for him to really be honest with the entire environment that he had depended on to ensure intimacy with his dream girl. He instinctively will begin to try and piece together the events surrounding to the failing of his relationship. However, without a Red Pill context, he will be unable to accurately describe the social dynamics at play surrounding the failed relationship. If he doesn’t receive or accept a Red Pill perspective, he will fall back to his Blue Pill idealism over time; as he begins to accept that the relationship is over. During that critical time a Red Pill friend may (the key word is may) be able to provide a context, albeit a bitter one, that will ultimately give him the correct perspective of women’s sexual strategy, and how he can reinvent himself to play the Game with more accurate knowledge.