A woman’s propensity to create drama serves the purpose of ensuring emotional investment and security. Understanding the reasons why she needs this can soothe the minds of men who are sometimes exasperated by women’s need to “ruin a good thing.”
When we’re talking about drama, it is anything that invokes a feeling of being mistreated, or another word is indignation, but since so many elements of Game are correlated to her need to feel indignation, I’m going to continue to use “drama” as a catch-all. It’s also a word that most men have an experience with, whether good or bad. When we’re talking about Drama Queens, or the political drama at work, men often correlate negative emotions to the word as something that is often an annoyance and getting in the way of their goals. It’s expressed as annoying because men do not need to create drama to feel loved — I don’t think I’ll spin any heads with that one. However, it’s necessary to say due to the increasing feminization of male spaces, “drama” is already unavoidable, whether at work, in traditional male spaces, or of course with your plates, it’s there and yes it’s in your way. Now, accepting her visceral need for drama and what it tells her is the first step; the next is using it to your advantage.
Assurance of security is one side of the coin on woman’s dualistic sexual strategy. It’s not the whole picture, but it is the one side of her strategy that many unplugged men regularly adhere to, incorrectly, as the only side of her sexual strategy. These men employ their set of blue pill Game to meet her security needs because it’s still viewed as the right way to ensure intimacy. In their defense, her security needs are overtly communicated to him when she demands his commitment, along with a culture that pushes him to “man-up” and meet her provisioning needs. Men enter relationships with this thought process in mind, that her security needs come first, and maintain the relationship using the same reasoning.
In my post called Emotional Control, I outlined the necessity to remember that women do not communicate overtly, but rather covertly.
Beta males…still follow the social framework that women say what they mean.
Understanding this sets up the reason why her security needs are in direct conflict for her need to also feel anxious in the relationship; as such, believing her words at face value is a mistake, as I will explain.
While women communicate their need for security and peace, this doesn’t correlate with her behavior of creating drama. Watch the habits of your female co-workers, and in no time they will begin to gossip and induce an air of being mistreated by each other. Women will present themselves as the gatekeepers of peace and unity, but this is shown as false as they begin to tear into one another in the forms of passive aggression, gossip, and deception. I’d take a couple shots before, but watch 5 minutes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and there is a parade of women (and effeminate men) sobbing about how they were mistreated by someone else. If drama is not actively present in her life she can simply turn on the tube and binge on countless hours of reality TV. If she doesn’t have a TV she will gossip about her girlfriends to her “bestie.” If she isn’t around her confidant she will induce drama in her relationship with you.
This visceral need of creating drama is parallel to her need to use emotion to understand her place in the world. This is completely relative to her emotional perspective, but it does give her some very important information that allows her to make deductions about YOU particularly, and where she stands with you. There are studies that confirm women actually feel happier in a relationship knowing that her man is upset. This provides her with the information that she needs. If the man is emotionally upset this tells her he is also emotionally invested in the relationship. This confirms for her her need for security in the relationship, knowing that you will fight for it.
However, again, the security aspect is not the only part of her strategy at play here. This also goes back to knowing she doesn’t say what she means. Without understanding this men find themselves in a crossroads. Subsequently, when she begins to induce drama our reflexive reaction is to immediately relieve any thoughts of anxiety from her about the relationship. Under a blue pill social framework this would make sense as she says what she means, right? The other problem men face is this:
We don’t have time to deal with this fucking drama.
I don’t know how anyone can walk away sane knowing the fact that women are happier when men are upset in a relationship. While women are happier, men obviously are not happier with this aspect. It takes away our energy, and leaves us having to put out small fires when we’re supposed to be conquering the planet.
This is where the various elements of Game come to play. The first step is realizing that just because she has anxiety about the relationship, does not mean she should be relieved of it. In fact, most elements of Game already focus on how to create or use that anxiety to ensure her continued interest. Dread Game is based on this need to induce anxiety about her place in the relationship. Simply dressing better and going to the gym will immediately set off these dreadful queues for her. Anxiety is paired with her need to ensure she has held down a man that is better on the SMV scale than she is. It’s almost paradoxical, but if looked at closely, it makes sense for her to find the best man she can find, while also limiting his self-development so he doesn’t completely eclipse her own SMV, lose interest, and leave. Then her investment would be lost. It’s a fine line but she needs both security and anxiety. Too much security and she knows she hasn’t found a man that is better than she is. This is why relieving her of this anxiety is a bad idea, and in fact you should covertly encourage it.
The best way to deal with her drama is to ensure the drama is centered around you. As discussed earlier, she will find some reason to be feel mistreated, and that will leak out and ruin your time, relationships, and the people around you. If the drama is centered around you and you now know that she needs to feel this way, then you can use it as leverage. Simply introduce a couple levels of dread into your relationship, and she will anxiously appreciate it. One that I believe is a good habit for maintaining boundaries (that she will try and break) is simply telling her No. The word no helps ensure that you’re still setting the Frame in the relationship and allows her to continue to operate in that Frame. While her reaction to No may not be one of thankfulness, the point is the need for drama does not distract you from your goals.