Designed Pain

There are 5 stages of grief associated with unplugging from a Blue Pill perspective. These stages of grief are the common reaction to having to confront an otherwise hidden and painful truth. When a man unplugs from the Feminine Imperative, and is cast into a new social dynamic, he may react the same way one reacts to the death of a close family member:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

It’s been said often in Red Pill circles, that it’s generally unwise to mention the Red Pill overtly to an otherwise still plugged in man. The reactions to these “misogynistic” ideas will be met at the least with mild incredulity or at worst outright contempt. More then one friendship has been destroyed by well-meaning Red Pill men, as they try to help their Blue Pill buddies who are trapped in a lifetime of pleasing the Feminine Imperative.

Of course we want to help these men that are close to us, as we remember our own plight and how now things are much more realistic by understanding women’s innate need to optimize their hypergamy. We remember our own painful pasts of fruitlessly following the advice of countless well-meaning women to be ourselves or just be nice and the laws of the universe will give us more pussy.

I believe it’s a disservice to yourself and your Blue Pill friend to mention the Red Pill before they’re unwilling to take it. One, you risk ostracizing yourself from a social circle that is so steeped in a Blue Pill perspective that they will never be able to understand that you hold their best interests at heart. No matter how logical you sound, you’re asking them to abandon their most cherished fantasies. From their perspective you’re asking them to hand over all their hopes and dreams. We’re talking about their sexual strategy here, and that is one strategy that men will defend with their very lives. Every man has Game, and Blue Pill men are no different.

Purpose of Pain

Going back the 5 stages of grief; I believe it’s necessary that men have to face a serious loss of an ideal before they’ll begin to question any tightly held beliefs about women’s sexual strategy. When men are faced with losing everything while they were simultaneously told that being Mr. Perfect will give them everything, they begin to question those assumptions. The fallout from a failed relationship, one in which was founded on Blue Pill ideals, will force a man to ask the right questions as to why it failed. When a child puts their hand on a hot stove without realizing they will get burned, pain immediately forces them to remove their hand. This painful shock will inoculate them from ever touching a hot stove again. There is a evolutionary purpose behind depression that forces us to examine whether our current goals are improving our ability of survival. Dr. Jonathan Rottenberg is the author of The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic, in which he argues that depression or low mood serves a purpose in examining our current setting and whether changes to this environment should be made. Dr. Rottenberg did a interview with Brett McKay of the Art of Manliness, where he expounds on the purpose of depression:

Low mood makes us stop. It makes us analyze the environment really carefully. Parts of it so you don’t repeat the same mistakes that got us into this situation in the first place.

When a frustrated man that has spent most of his life following the rules given to him since birth, rules which will ultimately fail him when it comes to a relationship with a woman, he understandably begins the stages of grief. At this time, pain serves as a necessary stepping stone to swallowing the Red Pill, as he is confronted with the reality that his Blue Pill sexual strategy ultimately failed him. It’s even more frustrating when you consider that this same strategy had the seal of approval from all women up to that point as the correct one. Nice guy…check, dependable…check, understanding…check, romantic…check, and then when this perspective is finally tested with his dream girl he is eventually rejected or dumped.

At this point, when he is in this depressive state he may be trying to understand what exactly went wrong with his past relationship. It serves as a survival mechanism for him to really be honest with the entire environment that he had depended on to ensure intimacy with his dream girl. He instinctively will begin to try and piece together the events surrounding to the failing of his relationship. However, without a Red Pill context, he will be unable to accurately describe the social dynamics at play surrounding the failed relationship. If he doesn’t receive or accept a Red Pill perspective, he will fall back to his Blue Pill idealism over time; as he begins to accept that the relationship is over. During that critical time a Red Pill friend may (the key word is may) be able to provide a context, albeit a bitter one, that will ultimately give him the correct perspective of women’s sexual strategy, and how he can reinvent himself to play the Game with more accurate knowledge.

2 thoughts on “Designed Pain”

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