A common meme perpetuated from an equalist definition of gender, is that men should embrace their emotions to better relate to women. The idea is that if gender is a social construct only, then it’s otherwise unhealthy for boys and eventually men to not freely express their emotions. Now you see young men constantly trying to use their emotions to attract a woman. The idea is that “like attracts like,” and the hope that she will ultimately appreciate his efforts that are so different then her douchebag boyfriend.
Showing your “emotional” side is a one way ticket to either her repulsion or a LJBF rejection. The reason that being more emotional is a waste of time for men, is that relating with women on an emotional level instinctively makes her feel like you’re one of her girlfriends. Gender is not a social construct, otherwise she would be able to turn that perception of you off, and you’ll sail into a Blue Pill relationship bliss. Her perception with a man that uses emotion to relate to her is that of another female. Often a woman’s perception of you as a primary candidate for intimacy relies on how she feels. If she “feels” that you’re a good friend that can talk about how Chad won’t call her back, that’s exactly the relationship you will have with her. You’re a man that still does not get it, a man that acts more as a woman, which will firmly place you in a friend category.
Our differences create attraction, not our similarities. Having a stoic, stronger then oak, emotionally unavailable nature makes you more attractive than trying to display your emotional intelligence as a sexual strategy.
I’m not advocating that men need to be like Spock or Buddha. Men do have emotions as that makes us human. What I’m against, is men trying to out-emote one another as a sexual strategy, in the hope that a woman will appreciate the effort. She won’t.
Obviously, men have emotions, but it’s important to remember how to express them without coming off as Beta. Controlled expression of emotions is crucial, as it serves to make an endearing image of men. Don’t buy into the “he’s not sharing his feelings” gripe; this same gripe is an advocacy to try and get you to abandon your frame, and enter into hers. This is a disaster waiting to happen. You need to be the wall that separates her willingness to lose control to her emotions, and your incessant drive to not give into them. What’s endearing to women, is a man that is emotionally unavailable who occasionally shows a semblance of emotion. It’s the difference between a man giggling and a man that cheekily smirks. Think of Don Draper. Having control of your emotional expressions makes each small act, an event unto itself.
Frost’s comment on Roissy’s article demonstrates the proportional aspect behind displays of emotions:
The power of emotional outbursts is inversely proportional to how often you have them.
A man who has complete control of his emotions 99.9% of the time can strike the fear of god into women and men when he loses it.
Also, the scariest motherfucker of all is the man who can execute a controlled losing it, so it’s not really like he’s losing control of himself, just tapping into the strength and impulsiveness that an emotional reaction offers. Like calling on the power of the dark side of the force.
Anger is a good example. Out of all the “toxic” emotions men are taught not express, I’m all for occasional flashes of anger. This demonstrates to her that you’re to be respected, and you can at any time go from calm-like state, to a force to be reckoned with. These flashes of anger, or as Rollo called them, Flashes of Alpha, make her question her hypergamic valuation of you. What’s better then completely losing it every time you’re angry, is having a slight grasp on the leash of your carnal fury. This leaves more to the imagination, as it’s scary to see a otherwise calm person become angry, but also note that he has control of it. The shot of a single gun in a movie is more profound then a whole movie filled with persistent explosions — you get used to it.
Recently I demonstrated this at work, in a office full of females. Out of 15 people in my office space, 12 are women. There is a lesbian woman at my office, who normally I get along quite well with. However, she recently lost one of her subordinates, and I got the impression she can sometimes be a bully to those working under her. Since this other woman was gone, she proceeded to channel that bullying my way thinking I would not stand up for myself as her other subordinates didn’t. She proceeded to crack jokes in front of other co-workers about my job details and be otherwise disrespectful. I had enough, and in front of everyone, I lost my cool. I didn’t calculate it, I just was sick of the disrespect, and it came to froth, I aggressively told her to never talk about my duties in such a demeaning way again. I demanded that she understands me 100%. She was shocked, but agreed, and she slinked back in her office.
My anger was probably a 7 out of 10, with 1 being a child-like lamb, and 10 being throwing a chair out the window. I was assertive, menacing, and probably looked like I was an inch from completely losing it. I definitely could have been written up for confronting her in front of other employees. On paper, I would have been ok with that, as in a politically correct world, no I shouldn’t have said that to her. Unofficially, I didn’t give a fuck what she did or said, as long as she respected me. She even said that she didn’t respect the way I confronted her, and yet I’ve never had an issue from her since. Always look at their actions, not their words. In fact, since the office is so prone to bitch fits from these other women, NONE have given me an issue since.
I’m normally described as cool, calm, and collected. So having such display of controlled anger allowed a semblance of polarity with how I will confront disrespect. I’ve only had to do this once, and it has created a much more healthier work environment for myself. Since it was controlled, it leaves more to imagination.
Leave more to the imagination in regards to your own emotions. Instead of giggling like a child, smirk. Stop blowing up at every little thing, and assertively demand change. But whatever you do, do not roll over by trying to relate to women emotionally. This is a clear abdication of your frame, and one that she will never appreciate you for.